50 Comments
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Jay Myser's avatar

This is beautiful. Taking something western and plunging down into a mythology. Giving it a soul older than history.

Erichka's avatar

Thank you so much!!

Adam Sorin's avatar

Really interesting piece. I like that you don’t take the time to explain anything, just jump right in and see it through, and somehow the emotion and scope still come through clearly. Feels like an excerpt from Beowulf or something very old. Could even see this being like an epigraph at the beginning of an epic historical fantasy. Great work.

Erichka's avatar

That’s exactly what I was going for! So glad it landed haha. Thank you for reading, Adam.

Paul R. Pace's avatar

This is very rhythmic and the imagery is like a dream. It is beautiful prose but comes across as poetry

Erichka's avatar

Thank you, Paul! (It was actually originally intended to be a poem but I decided to rework it into prose instead. I’m not a poet.)

aaaaaa's avatar

It arguably does work as prose poetry…

Bryn Arthur's avatar

Very good. muchly enjoyed. I like the horse bit.

William Cini's avatar

This is packed

S Stanfill's avatar

Excellent. Once, many years ago, I rode a horse, with friends , by moonlight. And I could feel that moment as I read this. I could see the Rider too.

Erichka's avatar

That sounds like a dream. I hope to go horseback riding at night one day.

S Stanfill's avatar

I’ve only done it once. It was dark - but the riders and horses knew the path. And I can see , still, the sparks struck by the hooves of the horse ahead. It’s a fine thing to do. I hope you can manage it.

aaaaaa's avatar

The whole "Moon blushes silver" line is beautiful. From the start to "white-hot starlight"… exquisite.

N. A. Strathdee 🪐's avatar

Powerful in its brevity! I am envious of your ability to build so much into such a tight space!

Erichka's avatar

Thank you so much! (:

Will Diana's avatar

Beautiful. Mystic.

JLG Noga's avatar

Sublime and gorgeous, for what is the western if nothing but the greatest fantasy there ever was? Never stop writing

Noor's avatar

Gorgeous writing, I’m so happy to have found you. 🩷

Erichka's avatar

Thank you, Noor! This is so sweet

Cedric's avatar

Incredible prose. Terse, efficient, and yet bursting with imagination. Well done.

Erichka's avatar

Thank you so much!

Bence Ádók's avatar

You're going to make big things happen. This is nothing short of amazing.

Erichka's avatar

This is so meaningful coming from you. Thank you so much. Truly.

Evan Miller's avatar

Could live forever in these desert dream and their spectral creatures

Ricardo A. Martagón's avatar

I carry my own “dream of life” too 🥹

Erichka's avatar

I love to hear that! Thank you for reading, Ricardo.

Kyle (Horrorble Writer)'s avatar

Structural and phraseology on fire.

This is what I want out of Substack. Keep this up.